Hello friends and family :)
For some reason this has been a very long week. I finally feel as though I am really living and working here, even though I am coming home in less than two months. I know the kids at the school much better, I am taking an active role in marketing and publicity, I have real Peruvian friends, and I feel like I have a very good idea of how much we are needed here and what more is need to help out.
I am planning on sending out an email to friends and family soon, asking for donations. They are really tight on finances right now and trying to open up a new cultural center to extend the services they offer to teenagers and young adults. Before I can ask for donations though, I am going to help Yuri set up an international bank account, probably through CitiBank, so that people can make checks out to the actual organization and there will be no difficulties transferring the money to Peru.
Last night, there was an unfortunate incidence at the school. As we were waiting for kids to be picked up and just hanging out and playing after classes, the drunken husband of one of the workers, Rosita, showed up. Rosita cleans the school every day, feeds the chickens and prepares the milk with vitamins for the kids every day. She has a bad leg and moves slowly because her husband broke her leg while beating her a few years ago. She still lives with him in his family's house with her two daughters. She weighs under 33 kilos (72 pounds) because she is so nervous and stressed around him all the time. She doesn't have the strength or will to leave him, which is common of many abused women here in Peru and around the world. She doesn't know that she has other options, even though Yuri has offered her a secure place to live at the hostel or at his mother's house. Yuri has given her this job, however, and continues to try to protect her. However, last night he showed up at the school, like I said, drunk, and before anyone realized who he was he had slammed Rosita against the wall and hit her across the face. Only one other volunteer was nearby when this happened but apparently many kids were present and saw it happen. Veronica quickly ran to get Yuri, who ran over and tried to talk to the husband and calm him down. We quickly led Rosita into the kitchen and found her daughter, Naomi, who I think is only 10 or 11. All of us volunteers acted as their guard, staying clumped at the entrance of the school, waiting for the husband to leave or calm down. Yuri came back inside after about 20 minutes and called the police after talking to Rosita. They never came, even though he called twice. Apparently that's the reality of the situation and no one seemed surprised.
We finally managed to take Naomi to the hostel with at least five of us acting as her guard, and Yuri and two other volunteers took Rosita to the hostel later in a taxi, I think. She and her daughter will be staying here for at least a week, and Yuri would like to find a woman's shelter that Rosita can go and live in for a short time. The problem is, she doesn't seem to have the desire to leave. She said last night that she thought something really strange must have happened to her husband because he has never beat her outside of the house before, only in the privacy of the home. Obviously, the culture is not properly ashamed of how the men treat the women in the families.
I feel so helpless in this situation. I know that it is very common, and that the majority of the children at the school see this type of violence every day in their own homes. I just know that there is nothing we can really do about that. We are obviously working to improve the lives of these children by supporting them with love and giving them the tools to improve their own lives. We hope that they will see that this type of violence does not have to continue and that they can make a conscious choice to end the cycle. It just felt like... we won't be around long enough... These things take time, and we cannot change the mentality of an entire culture in a just a few years. I just feel so sad and disappointed by this.
I'm sorry this has been a depressing post, but please comment and let me know what you think. I will put up some happy pictures of the beautiful children this weekend.
Love, love, love,
Maia
MJ,
ReplyDeleteThis is such a timely read for me. Last week my ministry class was talking about the book Almost Christian which has a lot to say but basically ends with saying: Youth ministry doesn't work very well but it's worth doing for that one kid who gets or may some day get it. My professor asserted that this wasn't good enough, & that we should be doing the work because it's beautiful (although painful) and it's transformative for us & for the church/organization we're part of. We might never see a payoff but it doesn't matter because the work we are doing is good and right. I don't know if that's helpful to you at all, but it was meaningful for me.
Shoot me an email when you get the bank account set up. You all are in my prayers.
<3, your dear old JC Emmy
Thank you, dearest Emmy. I am so glad to hear from you. I have been thinking on this a lot and I agree; even if I can only help one child or change one person's perspective on life and love, it will have been completely worth it. Thanks for your prayers and your support :)
ReplyDelete<3 MJ
I know that violence is a scary thing and it makes everyone feel powerless. There's nothing that you can do for this woman because not only does she think that being beaten is acceptable but that it's a given that she allows her husband to treat her terribly. It's one of those things that no one fully understands until it's happening to them how they would behave in a situation and no matter how much you might want to help this woman get out of that situation she might not want out and until she does there's nothing that you can do. Sorry that I'm being a downer about this and 'm really sorry that you have to see this sort of thing though, it's seriously terrible.
ReplyDeleteHey Jo, sorry I haven't said much lately! I'm sorry you had to see this, its an unfortunate part of most societies and I don't think enough people really understand how common it is. Although there isn't much you can do about domestic abuse as a whole, you can do a lot for this poor woman by continuing to support her and urge her to find a different shelter, if not for her sake than for her daughter's sake. You can make such a difference just by helping Rosita and Naomi. This culture has turned its back on abuse and women's rights but that doesn't mean you should give up-just don't be too shocked if its to no avail. Talk to the children about it too, maybe that was an every day event for them and maybe it was something new, but they are at such an age where they're easily influenced, and it is vital they learn that what happened isn't right.
ReplyDeleteLove you Jo
Dear Jo,
ReplyDeleteChange has to start somewhere. At first, maybe it's only one person. But that person effects change in another and then they go on to make changes in someone else. Don't be so discouraged that you might not stop domestic abuse everywhere. Even if you are only able to help one person it would be worth it. I agree with Jen to talk to the kids, maybe they are not strangers to this but even kids know it's not okay. They need the reassurance from the grownups who know better.
And you know who says you can't change the world! I once heard someone say if God puts an idea in your head he will give you the strength to go do it.
Love you darling,
Wow, what an awful situation! I can't imagine being a child and seeing that kind of thing regularly at home.
ReplyDeleteBut it's great you've been able to be such a help in so many ways at the school. Keep up the good work. You're awesome, Maia!